rant

I have pictures to post, I promise, that are more fun than my other musings. NYE, bowling, more interesting events than what I have been posting. Until that time comes, I have a bit of a rant. No conclusions here, just a rant.

I live in the 'new' house, and by 'new' I mean 'recently added site.' My bedroom door doesn't shut. It does a little if I lift it up and push really hard at the same time. There is a hole in the TV room window, the same window that has glass and a frame that come apart from one another when you open it. I have had bed bugs. I have had excessive spider bites on my feet and arms due to no screens in my bedroom window (and no AC). The dryer is broken. Many windows are painted shut. I am woken up at 5am by a man outside my (second story) window who is yelling and hiding from the police. The terrible windows in my house have no plastic over them to keep the heat from pouring out of them. The basement door is broken. The shelves in the refrigerator door today randomly just fell out onto the floor. The sidewalk on the north side of the house is frequented by strangers, although it's private property, mostly because there has been no gate put up or 'No Trespassing' sign posted. There have been homeless men who sleep under my back porch. Some windows have no way of being locked and can very easily be accessed from the outside. And when I just have had a bad day, I can't crack open a beer.

I try not to complain too openly. I try to keep everything in a place of perspective, and humor. At this point, when things randomly fall apart in my house I am not surprised. I figure in even 6 months everything will truly be hilarious. I can get past the whole 'dry house' situation, since at most it's an annoyance. I still have a roof over my head, I know my heat will not get shut off and the rent will be paid. I know that there will be food, plenty of it in fact. I will not be in need of the services I help offer at work any time soon. I am always cautious and aware of the neighborhood I live in, but I have never truly been afraid.

But sometimes I get a little tired. I have SO much compared to my clients and people I meet on the street, but I do get tired. I don't want to ask for a lot, but I feel plastic to cover terrible quality windows and a measly 'No Trespassing' sign isn't that much. I can deal with my door and my occasionally sketchy neighborhood. I wouldn't mention a lot of these things directly to my dad, but that's because he can really worry and I can't do anything to change my situation. I can HOPE that little things are taken care of, but if they aren't I have to keep on going. I can't make anyone do anything or have solutions magically appear. Sometimes I just want to feel okay about being frustrated.